
Are you a helicopter?
Ever zoom into the picture because Junior didn’t get what she or he wanted?
Ever call the principal because Joey missed out on that choir solo?
Ever try and get that B+ on Angelica’s term paper upleveled to an A?
Yes? Well you’re a helicopter parent – and you’re likely to torpedo your child’s chances at getting hired.
Why?
Because you show up at the interview, and that doesn’t work.
Because you call the hiring manager or HR professional and complain when they don’t give Kai a job offer.
Because the recruiter is hiring one person for one position – not one person and their Dad.
Here are 5 things helicopters need to get – STAT:
1. Your kid will fail
At some time, Harold isn’t going to make it. Maybe it’s on a date. Could be a job interview. It might even be that he’ll get passed over for a promotion.
Your kid is going to make mistakes. He’s not the best thing since sliced bread. He’s a human being struggling to do the best he knows how. Every time you take that away from him, you help make him a little less capable, a little more self-involved, and a lot less desirable to a recruiter, hiring manager or the HR pro whose time was wasted interviewing Harold.
You’ll be a real parent when you can let him fall on his face and pick himself up. Get a clue – stop meddling.
2. Aid independence, not dependence
So, you ignored me and showed up at the interview with Aiden. I told you not to do it, but you plunged head long through the safety net and took him with you.
It’s not OK for you to show up at any interview of any type – unless it’s for a family gym or country club membership. You shouldn’t even drive Aiden to an interview. Serious. If he can’t make his way, he’s already too incapable for even a janitorial job.
This is all about him – not about you. Stay at home, have a cup of coffee, and chill. He can call you when he’s out of the interview.
3. Your input during salary negotiations – a total non-starter
Foot inserted firmly in mouth, you still managed to mumble that the starting salary we offered was inadequate. And you pitched the need for more vacation time so Kelsey could go to Hemet with you for the family reunion and see Granny Hokes.
I’ve got nothing against Granny – she’s probably, as you described her, ‘a real hoot after a few snorts of Wild Turkey.’ It’s you I’ve got a problem with. I’m a hiring manager. I’ve got a budget for the position. Kelsey said the offer was fine.
Then you called. Seriously – did you think Mom on the line would be a plus. Kelsey? We’re passing. I was just too afraid of what you’d be like on a day-to-day basis. And the fact that Kelsey couldn’t manage you? Not a good sign.
We hire adults. Your behavior tells me your kid isn’t one – and neither are you.
4. Stop pushing
I’ve got a CEO who likes to micro-manage me. I don’t need you doing it too.
The two phone calls you made this week aren’t pushing me in Darius’ direction. In fact, you just put him out of the running.
Sit back and relax. He’ll either get the next job or not. More likely not if you continue making those phone calls.
And no, it wasn’t a good idea to offer me season tickets to the S.F. Giants. It made me cringe.
5. Come pick up the Beemer – it’s at the curb with the keys in the ignition
I always appreciate thank you notes. You know, most of the time people just don’t send them any more.
You were pretty innovative, having Brittany put hers onto the key ring. But no, I can’t accept the BMW.
And no, I’m not hiring her. Thanks but no thanks.
A final word before takeoff
While your kid is probably outstanding, he or she won’t be perceived that way if you’re in the picture.
Whatever you may have done in the past, it won’t work this time.
Just. Stop. It.
Let them go. Trust me, they’ll be fine without you.
Photo courtesy of Mike Baird.